WU Salmon 1 UH Saints 12
(Half time 0-9)
Melrose
Scorer: Jeremy
MOMPts
Jeremy 3
Terry 2
James Stewart 1
Incredibly hard to put this into words, so thank f*#k i don't have to- John Dow has opted for humour. As much as we were poor, and we were, we also did not have an ounce of luck go our way. The test of character wasn't last weekend it will be next weekend when we have to dust ourselves off and let who ever is unlucky enough to play us next know that we are pissed off.
i think a training is in order _thursday or Wednesday at the Chinese cultural centre- passing and defending will be the main focus.
Lastly, it was a rubbish time to be the club team and have to do bar duty so thanks to those who helped out- especially James and Matthew who stayed til the end- it shows character to hang around after a thumping and sink some beers at the clubby!
Was it our worst ever loss? probably but like i said it will be worse if we let us get to us-
Over to Mr Dow:
BABOONS SILENCED BY SALMON CAPITULATION
Wellington Zookeeper Rupert Ramshaw reported that for the first time in living memory his beloved Baboons were in stunned silence after witnessing the first half capitulation of the once Mighty Salmon against Upper Hutt Saints on Saturday May 30. The 9-0 half time score had left his playful and usually supportive animals in a state of complete shock leading to threats to cancel the popular and usually well attended “ Afternoon Tea Party” for which they are famous.
When word of such a reaction filtered through to Newtown Park, Wellington United historians were searching their books for comparisons of other dark days in the club’s long history.
Established in 1893, WU has nearly 120 years of events, matches, campaigns, victories and humiliations from which to consider this first half annihilation against.
Could this rout be seen alongside the desperately sad occasion when 3 of the club’s finest ever players went down with the Titanic at the end of a long season in 1912 ??
Or the embarrassment the club endured when on that same fateful night, Cyril Vile the second team Coach survived, wearing a dress and wig, by leaping onto a lifeboat using the dubious name of Cybil. For many years after the “Cyril Vile Trophy” was handed out to the season’s individual who had brought the most shame and ridicule to the club each season.
How bad was this first half ?, the only sign of Salmon defensive resistance came when a stray dog parked himself in the 6 yard box for 2 minutes and the Saints momentarily lost confidence and started shooting high and wide.
Perhaps the sound of the half time whistle which was clear, confident and resolute can be noted as not only the best contribution from a Salmon player to this tale of first half woe but also a much awaited relief from the pain and suffering the whole team was experiencing.
First to articulate a remedy and change of approach was Adam who captured the mood and urgency of the situation and exalted the team to tackle the second half as a completely new and fresh challenge.
A move back to a more traditional 4-4-2 formation saw the defence start to become tighter, more committed and in pursuit of a second half clean sheet ably encouraged by the talking of Richard and Dave. Saints suddenly found scoring much more difficult and the team’s started to even up.
Terry started to get on the ball and pushed passes around and keeping possession was suddenly back in vogue despite a few lapses and Salmon gift giving.
However, the real revelation was the hard running and committed play from Jeremy and Wozza who repeatedly won the ball in the middle of the park and kept pushing the team forward at every opportunity.
Jeremy’s all action play saw him match the best the Saints could offer, his defensive work held them at bay, while he also proved a real handful for their defence as he constantly burst forward and proved impossible to contain. His stunning last minute strike a totally deserved outcome for a very impressive half of football, coming from a great set up from Craig.
Wozza also imposed himself on the Saints, winning lots of ball, getting passes forward and in one glorious movement battled through 4 consecutive 50/50 situations before emerging with the ball at his feet near the edge of the area, then impressed with his awareness to see the great run of Fulton who he then played into a clear goalscoring situation and a very real opportunity to score was narrowly missed. Another excellent performance.
A battling second half, although lost 3-1, showed once again that the sometimes Mighty Salmon can actually compete with any team in this division.
However, Upper Hutt demonstrated the importance of combinations, off the ball running, and a positive attacking attitude with lots of talk amongst their players.
While the first half of this match will forever be known in WU history and Zoo folklore as the day the “ Baboons were Silenced” the second half clearly showed what this side is capable of.
How will the Salmon selectors respond to such a comprehensive capitulation ?? They have shown great skill and understanding in turning around other poor performances already this season.
Will the WU club consider reintroducing the “Cyril Vile Trophy” should such a half of football ever be served up again this season.
Will aspects of this first half be included in one of Dave Armstrong’s next plays, appropriately titled “The Descent of Man” ??
Should every individual take a big long hard look at themselves in the mirror the morning of the next match and make a personal commitment to never allowing a repeat of such a footballing travesty ever to happen again ??
Monday, May 30, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Match report from the far left wing
This week we have a guest writer- Mr John Dow. I have merely added the game facts at the start- Thanks JD!
WU Terrace 0- WU Salmon 3
(Half time 0-2)
Newtown Park
Referee: 074 Grieve Frank
Scorers:
Craig Ireson (2, 1pen)
Mathew Fulton
MOM:
3pts Richard Hallam- A full 90 in centre back and a clean sheet
2 pts Simon Healy- A master class in defensive headers against a team which only knows one route to goal
1pt Michael Ashby- far and away his best perfromance yet, dedicated, direct and confident
1 pt Craig Ireson- two well taken goals and won the ball back like a midfielder
MIGHTY SALMON TRIUMPH ON HALLOWED TURF
On a weekend when 5 teams were fighting for their survival in the English Premier League the Mighty Salmon were marching onto the hallowed turf of Newtown Park for the first time this season, albeit as an away team looking like a bunch of escapees from a St Patrick’s Day Parade.
Despite near perfect playing conditions, a pitch in good shape and the allocation of a real referee our exotic opposition threatened to ruin the day with their shambolic time keeping and lack of organisation resulting in a delayed kick off and the start of the match seeing only 9 Orange clad footballers on the field. This quickly became 11.
The Salmon selectors determined to learn from the painful loss to the Legends the week before, set out the team’s objectives of a clean sheet, 2-3 goals to be scored, some expansive football on the large pitch and plenty of running and effort whilst keeping one step ahead of The Terrace’s reputation for niggly, disruptive play.
In the opening period the ball was played out confidently from the back and with the midfield dominating the ball went forward quickly and efficiently to the lone ranging striker Craig who was ably supported by some mobile play from Squirt, Fulton and Ashby.
While Nick and Kahu were scrapping it out in the middle of the park to good effect they also still managed to get forward and create a few chances and Nick put 2 outstanding raking long balls to Craig which generated genuine chances that didn’t produce goals which on another day they could have.
The breakthrough finally came when John D. clipped a corner to the edge of the 6 yard box and Simon headed a dangerous ball into the goalmouth and a Terrace player handled and the referee pointed to the spot.
Up stepped top goalscorer Ireson and the keeper had no chance, 1-0.
The Salmon were dominating the match and after a useful cross from (Wozza or Squirt ??) the ball bounced loose in the 6 yard box and quick as a flash Fulton got there first and steered the ball into the net for a well deserved goal, 2-0.
A quick half time turnaround and immediately The Terrace were on attack refusing to give in and pushing forward at every opportunity only to be thwarted by the strong central defenders Richard and Simon, and the tenacious defending of Dave and Adam.
Backed up by keeper Richard the defence were committed to achieving the elusive clean sheet the selectors had pleaded for pre match while the midfield worked hard to dominate and keep the Salmon flowing forward.
However goals were proving hard to come by and a slim 2-0 lead gave The Terrace some hope and belief they could still get something out of the game.
However, with 15 minutes to go the ball broke to John D. who played a first time 40 metre pass that cut through and in behind the defence and left striker Craig on a clean break with only the keeper to beat and a clinical finish ended any hopes and dreams The Terrace were clinging to and the game was effectively won, 3-0.
There was still some more action though as another John D. corner was flicked on by Simon and Wozza was nearly in for the 4 th goal, while at the other end The Terrace striker blazed over the bar from 6 yards out with the goal at his mercy.
Overall, the pre match objectives were achieved, Simon’s return at the back greatly assisted the defence keep a clean sheet, 3 good goals were scored and a few other good chances were created, Fulton and Ashby got through a huge amount of running and their pace and enthusiasm caused The Terrace big problems all over the park, Dave got some good moves happening down the left flank while showing he could also get back quickly and his photo on the front cover of Monday’s paper was fully deserved, Adam tidied up the right back spot and also showed some pace getting forward, James managed to cover lots of ground and is still in search of his ideal position ( something the selectors are aware of and contemplating), Squirt seemed to have got over his hammy problem and made some good passes and movements as did Kahu whose fitness should benefit from his first game back after a few weeks away. Wozza showed after a disrupted start that his recent Man of the Match performance is likely to be repeated and his keenness in the penalty area will soon produce a few goals. Nick’s tackling was strong and a couple of sublime passes hinted at what could be when a little extra match fitness takes full effect. Richard H. was solid and reliable as ever and Richard the Goalie celebrated the Salmon’s first clean sheet of this season, which as a keeper you can’t do any better than that. Craig’s 2 goals were well taken and his running into space his best this season stretching The Terrace all afternoon, his goalscorer’s ego and natural sense of superiority should be well satisfied for at least a week. John D.’s fitness is improving and a few passes showed small glimpses of his form from his best ever season which was 32 years ago.
Have the Mighty Salmon turned the corner and set themselves for a majestic run of great results and with it a charge up the league ladder ??
Or was this a simple victory over a winless team who are rooted to the bottom of the table ??
What brilliant strategy and set of objectives will the selectors produce for the next match ??
Will Fulton mount a challenge to Craig to become the team’s top goalscorer ??
Are hard fought clean sheets going to become a regular occurrence ??
Will Dave Armstrong continue to keep Rachel Hunter off the front page of The Dom Post ??
WU Terrace 0- WU Salmon 3
(Half time 0-2)
Newtown Park
Referee: 074 Grieve Frank
Scorers:
Craig Ireson (2, 1pen)
Mathew Fulton
MOM:
3pts Richard Hallam- A full 90 in centre back and a clean sheet
2 pts Simon Healy- A master class in defensive headers against a team which only knows one route to goal
1pt Michael Ashby- far and away his best perfromance yet, dedicated, direct and confident
1 pt Craig Ireson- two well taken goals and won the ball back like a midfielder
MIGHTY SALMON TRIUMPH ON HALLOWED TURF
On a weekend when 5 teams were fighting for their survival in the English Premier League the Mighty Salmon were marching onto the hallowed turf of Newtown Park for the first time this season, albeit as an away team looking like a bunch of escapees from a St Patrick’s Day Parade.
Despite near perfect playing conditions, a pitch in good shape and the allocation of a real referee our exotic opposition threatened to ruin the day with their shambolic time keeping and lack of organisation resulting in a delayed kick off and the start of the match seeing only 9 Orange clad footballers on the field. This quickly became 11.
The Salmon selectors determined to learn from the painful loss to the Legends the week before, set out the team’s objectives of a clean sheet, 2-3 goals to be scored, some expansive football on the large pitch and plenty of running and effort whilst keeping one step ahead of The Terrace’s reputation for niggly, disruptive play.
In the opening period the ball was played out confidently from the back and with the midfield dominating the ball went forward quickly and efficiently to the lone ranging striker Craig who was ably supported by some mobile play from Squirt, Fulton and Ashby.
While Nick and Kahu were scrapping it out in the middle of the park to good effect they also still managed to get forward and create a few chances and Nick put 2 outstanding raking long balls to Craig which generated genuine chances that didn’t produce goals which on another day they could have.
The breakthrough finally came when John D. clipped a corner to the edge of the 6 yard box and Simon headed a dangerous ball into the goalmouth and a Terrace player handled and the referee pointed to the spot.
Up stepped top goalscorer Ireson and the keeper had no chance, 1-0.
The Salmon were dominating the match and after a useful cross from (Wozza or Squirt ??) the ball bounced loose in the 6 yard box and quick as a flash Fulton got there first and steered the ball into the net for a well deserved goal, 2-0.
A quick half time turnaround and immediately The Terrace were on attack refusing to give in and pushing forward at every opportunity only to be thwarted by the strong central defenders Richard and Simon, and the tenacious defending of Dave and Adam.
Backed up by keeper Richard the defence were committed to achieving the elusive clean sheet the selectors had pleaded for pre match while the midfield worked hard to dominate and keep the Salmon flowing forward.
However goals were proving hard to come by and a slim 2-0 lead gave The Terrace some hope and belief they could still get something out of the game.
However, with 15 minutes to go the ball broke to John D. who played a first time 40 metre pass that cut through and in behind the defence and left striker Craig on a clean break with only the keeper to beat and a clinical finish ended any hopes and dreams The Terrace were clinging to and the game was effectively won, 3-0.
There was still some more action though as another John D. corner was flicked on by Simon and Wozza was nearly in for the 4 th goal, while at the other end The Terrace striker blazed over the bar from 6 yards out with the goal at his mercy.
Overall, the pre match objectives were achieved, Simon’s return at the back greatly assisted the defence keep a clean sheet, 3 good goals were scored and a few other good chances were created, Fulton and Ashby got through a huge amount of running and their pace and enthusiasm caused The Terrace big problems all over the park, Dave got some good moves happening down the left flank while showing he could also get back quickly and his photo on the front cover of Monday’s paper was fully deserved, Adam tidied up the right back spot and also showed some pace getting forward, James managed to cover lots of ground and is still in search of his ideal position ( something the selectors are aware of and contemplating), Squirt seemed to have got over his hammy problem and made some good passes and movements as did Kahu whose fitness should benefit from his first game back after a few weeks away. Wozza showed after a disrupted start that his recent Man of the Match performance is likely to be repeated and his keenness in the penalty area will soon produce a few goals. Nick’s tackling was strong and a couple of sublime passes hinted at what could be when a little extra match fitness takes full effect. Richard H. was solid and reliable as ever and Richard the Goalie celebrated the Salmon’s first clean sheet of this season, which as a keeper you can’t do any better than that. Craig’s 2 goals were well taken and his running into space his best this season stretching The Terrace all afternoon, his goalscorer’s ego and natural sense of superiority should be well satisfied for at least a week. John D.’s fitness is improving and a few passes showed small glimpses of his form from his best ever season which was 32 years ago.
Have the Mighty Salmon turned the corner and set themselves for a majestic run of great results and with it a charge up the league ladder ??
Or was this a simple victory over a winless team who are rooted to the bottom of the table ??
What brilliant strategy and set of objectives will the selectors produce for the next match ??
Will Fulton mount a challenge to Craig to become the team’s top goalscorer ??
Are hard fought clean sheets going to become a regular occurrence ??
Will Dave Armstrong continue to keep Rachel Hunter off the front page of The Dom Post ??
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Belated match report vs Legends
WU Salmon 0- WU Legends 4
(Half time 0-1)
Melrose Park
MOM Pts
Wazza -3pts
Matthew F-2pts
John Dow/Jeremy- 1pt each
What happens when you have ten the night before a game and have to scramble for players? You end up with 16 and three more on the waitlist!
Three reserves were called in, two of whom ironically played against us for the Legends on opening day, plus we got Danny back although he ended up only reffing and we saw the debut of a Somali chap called Hamsa who is keen to play a bit more for nus.
It ended up being the classic game of two halves thanks to the strong norwester wind- we took the win first half but unfortunatley could not convert- Wazza came closest with a header to the cross bar from a corner- in fact our corners looked good- Legends scored a fine breakaway after we gave away possesion at the back. The young reserves looked good out on the wing- but alas luck and time was not on our side- even the ref was far too neutral, blowing for half time after we won yet another corner! grrr!
Second half and we failed to threaten their goal, rarely ventruing into their defensive third. Legends were too slick and passed their way through us, lobbing Sami twice in goal. Sami actually had a cracker -showing good strength in the air. But, despite all our efforts the challenge petered out once the score got to 3. In fact i think we did well to avoid a 2010 style score blow out to be honest. Wazza gets the MOM for runnign hard and being aggressive in the middle, followed closely by Matthew Fulton. John Dow played well out wide, to be fair to him he spent more time on the bench than his form on the day deserved- and Jeremy put in another good shift at centre back.
So what is it lads? If i could summarise what we need to take the team forward from this slump;
Better tactics suited to our strengths- Richie and I need to think out a better way to play with what we have
Better individual application and discipline regarding the team tactics- once we figure out what we are doing we need you to stick to the plan
Better individual responsibility for the game-take control of your own experience on the day- be ready to play and ready to win, be ready to chase the ball back if you lose it etc.
(Half time 0-1)
Melrose Park
MOM Pts
Wazza -3pts
Matthew F-2pts
John Dow/Jeremy- 1pt each
What happens when you have ten the night before a game and have to scramble for players? You end up with 16 and three more on the waitlist!
Three reserves were called in, two of whom ironically played against us for the Legends on opening day, plus we got Danny back although he ended up only reffing and we saw the debut of a Somali chap called Hamsa who is keen to play a bit more for nus.
It ended up being the classic game of two halves thanks to the strong norwester wind- we took the win first half but unfortunatley could not convert- Wazza came closest with a header to the cross bar from a corner- in fact our corners looked good- Legends scored a fine breakaway after we gave away possesion at the back. The young reserves looked good out on the wing- but alas luck and time was not on our side- even the ref was far too neutral, blowing for half time after we won yet another corner! grrr!
Second half and we failed to threaten their goal, rarely ventruing into their defensive third. Legends were too slick and passed their way through us, lobbing Sami twice in goal. Sami actually had a cracker -showing good strength in the air. But, despite all our efforts the challenge petered out once the score got to 3. In fact i think we did well to avoid a 2010 style score blow out to be honest. Wazza gets the MOM for runnign hard and being aggressive in the middle, followed closely by Matthew Fulton. John Dow played well out wide, to be fair to him he spent more time on the bench than his form on the day deserved- and Jeremy put in another good shift at centre back.
So what is it lads? If i could summarise what we need to take the team forward from this slump;
Better tactics suited to our strengths- Richie and I need to think out a better way to play with what we have
Better individual application and discipline regarding the team tactics- once we figure out what we are doing we need you to stick to the plan
Better individual responsibility for the game-take control of your own experience on the day- be ready to play and ready to win, be ready to chase the ball back if you lose it etc.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
Game V Legends Transfered to Melrose
http://sportsmaps.co.nz/wellington/melrose-park-wellingthttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifon
AKA The Baboon's playground; one of the spiritual homes of WU Salmon
AKA The Baboon's playground; one of the spiritual homes of WU Salmon
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
a belated match report v. Seatoun Gulls
Seatoun Gulls 3- WU Salmon 1
(HT 1-0)
Scorer: Craig
MOM Pts
M. Ashby-3
Terry- 2pts
Simon, James Stewart, Richard Martin- 1 pt each
This was a tough game to go into on the back of a 5-0 thrashing at the hands of the Chuggers- as an aside Dave and I went and saw the Chuggers draw with the Terrace and Dave recognised only a handful of the team that beat us- confirming the theory that Chuggers stacked their team for Easter- don't worry lads we'll get 'em in the return.
We were up against a Seatoun side that had won 5 from 5 and had dispatched all other teams with aplomb. The call was to play with the same aggression, focus and determination which earnt us a draw against Varsity.
The first half was even and once the new centre back pairing of Adam and Simon got the communication sorted we looked pretty good- Seatoun snuck a messy one, but the Salmon held their resolve. Richard Martin was clearly on form in goal, pullign off a number of blinding saves. Within due course the Salmon managed to start creating chances with Craig, Squirt, Dave and Fulton all managing to fire off shots, and Ashby causing no small amount of havoc on the left wing. Wazza was dominating in the air and paring well wth Fulton and Terry in the middle
It was a strong finish to the half but ominously we failed to convert with the wind at our backs.
We came out in the second half with the same purpose with which we finished the half and got the break through we had worked for- a quick, intelligent though ball from Terry saw a botched clearance from their left back, Craig snuck in and sombrero-flicked the ball over his head, drew the keeper and rounded him and slotted into the empty net- 1-1 after 55 minutes.
we hada few more chances, not least froma good corner delivered by Squirt- but the same delivery crocked his hamstring and so the attrition rate stepped up- James Stewart was already carrying an injury but battled on, and soon Simon joined the bench after coming to grief in a goal mouth scramble. Salmon were running out of puff and with the sea breeze at their backs the Gulls were coming home strong. However their strikers gave an incredible master class in inept finishing- there were at least 4 clear cut chances that they managed to botch. Couple this with some fantastic rear guard defence from Hallam et al, and more yogic brilliance from Rich Martin and it really seemed like the Salmon were going to hold on for an heroic draw. But then the inevitable happened, with 5 minutes to play Seatoun's wizened midfield general danced throught he defence and slotted home a superb solo goal- Salmon threw caution to the wind and pushed for the equalisier again.
This pulled us out of shape and Seatoun were able to finish another one.
On a positive note we battled hard and were in the game until the 7oth minute when our inuries started to take their toll- yes, we had a lot of luck, or rather Seatoun had very little in front of goal, but in football you have to ride your luck and take your chances. It wasn't our day but if we play like this against the lesser teams then we'll clean up- Apart from Seatoun the division is very close with only 8 pts seperating 2nd place from last. We have the team to finish in the top 3.
On an even more positive note Adam's beer selection was top notch, having dispatched his live-in sommelier to Regional wines and spirits to hand pick some local craft brews- this more than made up for the fact that his cleaner folded the socks without realising they were still wet.
(HT 1-0)
Scorer: Craig
MOM Pts
M. Ashby-3
Terry- 2pts
Simon, James Stewart, Richard Martin- 1 pt each
This was a tough game to go into on the back of a 5-0 thrashing at the hands of the Chuggers- as an aside Dave and I went and saw the Chuggers draw with the Terrace and Dave recognised only a handful of the team that beat us- confirming the theory that Chuggers stacked their team for Easter- don't worry lads we'll get 'em in the return.
We were up against a Seatoun side that had won 5 from 5 and had dispatched all other teams with aplomb. The call was to play with the same aggression, focus and determination which earnt us a draw against Varsity.
The first half was even and once the new centre back pairing of Adam and Simon got the communication sorted we looked pretty good- Seatoun snuck a messy one, but the Salmon held their resolve. Richard Martin was clearly on form in goal, pullign off a number of blinding saves. Within due course the Salmon managed to start creating chances with Craig, Squirt, Dave and Fulton all managing to fire off shots, and Ashby causing no small amount of havoc on the left wing. Wazza was dominating in the air and paring well wth Fulton and Terry in the middle
It was a strong finish to the half but ominously we failed to convert with the wind at our backs.
We came out in the second half with the same purpose with which we finished the half and got the break through we had worked for- a quick, intelligent though ball from Terry saw a botched clearance from their left back, Craig snuck in and sombrero-flicked the ball over his head, drew the keeper and rounded him and slotted into the empty net- 1-1 after 55 minutes.
we hada few more chances, not least froma good corner delivered by Squirt- but the same delivery crocked his hamstring and so the attrition rate stepped up- James Stewart was already carrying an injury but battled on, and soon Simon joined the bench after coming to grief in a goal mouth scramble. Salmon were running out of puff and with the sea breeze at their backs the Gulls were coming home strong. However their strikers gave an incredible master class in inept finishing- there were at least 4 clear cut chances that they managed to botch. Couple this with some fantastic rear guard defence from Hallam et al, and more yogic brilliance from Rich Martin and it really seemed like the Salmon were going to hold on for an heroic draw. But then the inevitable happened, with 5 minutes to play Seatoun's wizened midfield general danced throught he defence and slotted home a superb solo goal- Salmon threw caution to the wind and pushed for the equalisier again.
This pulled us out of shape and Seatoun were able to finish another one.
On a positive note we battled hard and were in the game until the 7oth minute when our inuries started to take their toll- yes, we had a lot of luck, or rather Seatoun had very little in front of goal, but in football you have to ride your luck and take your chances. It wasn't our day but if we play like this against the lesser teams then we'll clean up- Apart from Seatoun the division is very close with only 8 pts seperating 2nd place from last. We have the team to finish in the top 3.
On an even more positive note Adam's beer selection was top notch, having dispatched his live-in sommelier to Regional wines and spirits to hand pick some local craft brews- this more than made up for the fact that his cleaner folded the socks without realising they were still wet.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Game is cancelled!
Breaking news- The Discovery Channel Derby Vs. The BEars is off tomorrow, so rack up some brownie points with the missus, go for a jog and we'll see you next weekend
Will tray and jack up some kind of midweek training to make up for it.
Will tray and jack up some kind of midweek training to make up for it.
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